Clean
by liLIAnDM
Summary: My first attempt, be gentle please. A two shot OutlawQueen Story. Regina is not the only one who has to accept what happened in NY between Robin and her sister. Anybody who shares my point of view, please, take my hint and write something about it. (Second chapter is M rated)
1. Chapter 1

Emma was still missing and Killian was out of himself. He couldn't believe that she has disappeared a moment after finally confessing her feelings for him. He was moping and venting at everything and everyone who crossed his path.  
MaryMargaret and David were busy with the new prince and trying to find a way to reach Emma before she succumbed to evil.

Henry,being Henry, was trying to be optimist and find a way back for his mother. He spended his time playing with Roland, helping his mother with everything he could and before going to bed he searched his book looking for answers.

And they, they were trying to find a way to each other. Zelena was still locked down in the asylum, still pregnant. She was the constant reminder for Robin of his own stupidity, his own misplaced sense of honor. He's gone away for months to save the life of his wife, convinced himself to try and try and try to feel again what he felt once for her only to discover that it was a low trick from her sister's truelove. What a twisted sense of humor. Regina has accepeted him again like nothing has changed, but the proof was the growing stomach of her half sister whom she visited every week. He refused to come near her again, he couldn't trust himself with her. He knew that, given the chance and a little push, he might kill her, baby or not.

And here they were, on Regina's sofa. The boys were asleep upstairs after a long day at the park playing and running like brothers while their parents were looking for a way to take Emma back. They were becoming a family, slowly and gradually finding their rythm in this little town after everything.

Regina had her head on his shoulder, he was playing with the end of her hair trying to reassure himself that she was really here in his arms. Or maybe he had to reassure himself that he was back in hers. The tv was on, a low soundtrack playing in the familyroom, but both of them were lost in their own minds. Until Regina decided that she had enough. She looked at him for a moment before litfing up her head to kiss him. He welcomed the touch, a nice distraction from his thoughts. Her lips pliant and soft, her hair smelling of cinnamon and apple, her breath mingling with his. He kissed back with equal tenderness, his hand lifting to her cheek to feel her smooth skin before settling in her neck. After a moment or two she straddled his lap never stopping their kiss, playing with his short hair and raking her nails on his scalp. He moaned in her mounth and that's when he lost it. He abruptly pushed her away standing up.

"I... Would you like a cup of tea, darling?" he asked, breathing still laboured.

Regina looked startled before frowning at him. "I would really like to continue our little activity, I was rather enjoying myself." She said with a little smile. A smile that he didn't reciprocate.

"So, that's a no. Well I'm making some" he said before leaving the room for the kitchen. Regina didn't move, staring at his back trying to understand what was happening. One moment he was his usual self, flirty and gentleman and happy and the next he was distant, sad. She couldn't understand what was really going in his head. They were fine, weren't they? They kissed and talked and laughed and walked hand in hand but they were never intimate. They still hadn't... and that bothered her. Has the time apart made him think who he really was dating? Has Marion/Zelena changed him that much? Maybe he didn't find her attractive anymore. Maybe her sister opened him to new...adventures? Thinking about that made her want to go to her and choke the life out of her but she couldn't do it because her boyfriend got her knocked up. Fire raced through her veins at the thought. He wasn't guilty, he thought he was bedding his wife and they agreed to move on, to forget their time together. She knew she was being immature about that but she couldn't shake the feeling that he preferred her long lost wife turned half sister in law to her. She had had countless lovers in her life, using their lust to have what she was looking for. Maybe she wasn't that good. She was good at sex but who knows about making love? She wasn't that experienced. She's been in love only with Daniel before Robin and they were far too young to engage in certain activities, not to mention the vigil eyes her mother kept on her.

But two weeks after their return in Storybrook, they have never... The more she thought about it, the more she felt herself go angry at him so she joined him in the kitchen. He had his hands on the counter, his head down looking at the floor breathing hard, she could see from where she standed.

"What is it, Robin?" she asked none too gently.

He startled at her voice, turning to look at her. "What do you mean? I'm making tea", he aswered looking innocent.

"No, you're avoiding me... _us_ " she said in her firm voice.

"Regina" he begun "I was thirsty and in need of some caffeine" he turned his back to her again.

She lost it. She approached him, turning him to her with a hand on his shoulder. "Stop lying to me! Stop it!" she almost yelled. "We were kissing and you pushed me away! Is it me? Am I not good enough anymore? Was she better?" She asked with tears in her eyes. Frustration and anger taking over.

"What?" he said with a disgusted face.

"Was she better than me? Has she made you feel better than when you were with me? Do you miss her love trick? Because I can give you the key of her cell and you can go to her, you can go out of this house forever if you really want her back!" she said raising her voice and not caring about the boys upstairs anymore.

Robin looked at her shocked. His eyes big and mouth open to say something but no sound come out so Regina took that as a yes and she continued in a sad whisper "I know, I know I'm the evil queen and I am a bad person for you. You deserve someone better than me, I always said to you. But you made me fall in love with you and I can see that you've changed your mind about us. I can't believe that I lost you to my sister. She tricked you, she lied to you, she killed your wife. As I would have done if Emma wasn't playing hero in the Enchanted Forest! You've changed, you're distant and sad and..." she was hypeventilating, looking and feeling like a little girl but she couldn't stop. She couldn't breath and she couldn't think clearly anymore.

"Regina, Regina" she heard him say "Regina, breath. Calm down and Breath slowly" he said, moving his hand up and down her back. She closed her eyes, breathing through her nose readying herself for what she knew would be his answer. He was leaving her, like everybody else. Like Henry did before going to Boston looking for his real mother. God, that still hurt. But she calmed her breathing and looked up at him. He had tears running on his cheeks, eyes red and lips trembling. So that was it.

"Regina" he repeated with a broken voice without saying anything more.

"Stop saying my name!" she said through her tears.

"Regina..." he was looking at her with such sorrow and pain, his heart aching, his mind burning. He couldn't, he just couldn't.

"You haven't touch me since you're back, we kiss and we hug but something is missing. **You** are missing." she accused him.

He bowed his head, ashamed and sad that she was thinking like this. She had all wrong in her head but that is his fault. Again. She was suffering for his mistakes and he couldn't bear that. He had to explain, but how?

"Has she bewiched you in the bed? Was she good?" she insisted continuing her ramblings speech about him and her sister but he didn't listen anymore. He was lost in the memories of NY and of him and who he thought was her lost wife, of the one night where he tried to prove to himself and to Marion that they could go back to eachother, loving eachother. One fucking night and his life was destroyed.

He felt himself move and scatter the teapot from the stove, burning his hand but not caring about it. "STOP!" he said forcefully "STOP TALKING!"

Regina has never seen him lose control. He was like another person, a caged animal. His voice was different, his eyes cloud by anger and something else she couldn't put her hand on. His back was stiff and he was cradling his hand near his chest. She approached him, not scared because she knew that he couldn't ever lay a hand on her, no matter the circumstances.

"Robin, let me see your hand." she said to him but he didn't move, he just continued breathing. "Robin" she repeated "I need to see your hand, you've burned yourself" she made one step in his direction and he flinched. She stopped in her tracks not knowing what to do.

"Please, don't touch me" he whipered. "Please my lo... Please Regina, stay away from me" It was as someone had punched her. He dind't want to be near her, so why was he living under her roof?

Lost in her own mind she hadn't seen the tears that were now running free on his face. She just looked at him trying to find her answers but he was closing off. So, she turned towards the leaving room.

"Wait" she heard him saying. So she stopped and waited. "Please" That was it. She had to see him and she saw him. He looked older, battered than she ever saw him. So she waited for him. She waited while he breathed and breathed and breathed.

"It's not you. It's me."

"Robin, that's the most lame thing you could say before leaving me!" She said with sarcasm that he couldn't really comprehend.

"Please...wait" he said brokenly. " I just need..."

"What? What do you need?" she asked forcefully.

"It's... It's hard to explain" he said not looking at her.

"well, try Robin... because I can't go on like this!" She was tearing up, she knew but she didn't care. Her soulmate was driving away from her and she couldn't be calm or rational.

He took one last long breath and found her eyes. " I cannot... I cannot touch you"

She looked puzzled. "I'm sorry... I don't think I understand"

He shook his head, like he was trying to order his thoughts. "I... whenever we are close, whenever you kiss me... I can't... I do not deserve you"

"Robin.. what the hell are you..."

He interrupted her "Don't you see me? I am a thief, I... I am a mess, I don't feel..." he coudn't go on. He couldn't explain to her what he was feeling. The anguish, and the guilt and everything else.

"You don't feel what? You don't feel the same for me?" She found herself say with her Evil Queen voice and that startled him.

"What? How can you... "

"How can I know?" she continued " You hadn't touch me one single time, you always find a way to avoid intimacy, you don't even have called me "my love" anymore! Last time was at Granny's and I was so happy to have you back in my life and that meant everything to me"

"Regina..."

"See? It's always Regina, or darling... I feel like I was with the Dark One!" she said smiling despite herself.

"No... that's not... After everything I did not think..." he was babbling, how could he make her understand?But he had to try, looking in her eyes he could see her walls building up again and he couldn't allow that. "When I was with her... I... always thought about you. You where always in my mind. While walking in the street, while shopping, while cleaning the house... while seeing her " he said with hate " play with Roland... I wanted you"

"You wanted me? That's why now she's carrying your child?" She said, she was so tired of this.

He visibly flinched at that. "No! I had... I had to prove that I could move on, that I could forget you... for Roland, he had his mother back and I could not destroy his happiness but... but he felt that something was wrong, he told me and he told me he missed you and asked me when we could come home... to you" he said with pleading eyes. " And I so wanted... I wanted to come back home to you... But now that I am, after everything, after my stupid mistake... Now how can I even think of touching you when I am dirt? I have betrayed you. I can not allow myself to touch you without thinking of her, of what she has done to me and to us. She tricked me... That was the only one time I...we... I couldn't lie with her another one. I felt bad because I loved you! And now that I have you back in my arms I can not touch you because I do not deserve you. You are so beatiful and kind and understanding. And I am just a man, a dirty man who has lost the right to touch your skin, to feel your skin. I do not deserve you... I am dirt, so dirt"

Regina was crying. She thought he was fine but he has been raped. Nothing more, nothing less. He has been violated by her own sister posing as his dead wife. She abused him, tricked him in impregnating her and he was suffering, not telling anyone how he was feeling about all this. She avoided the topic and who could he talk to if not her? How selfish she was.

"Robin" she begun approching him "Listen to me. You're the most noble heart I have ever met. I told you to be with your wife. I couldn't take your happy ending from you twice. You've been played by my sister and you feel guilty?" she laughed " I have to feel guilty, you're suffering because you've lost your wife again and you've been... abused by crazy half sister. I would do everything to take your pain and make you forget but you have to trust me when I say that I love you and it's me who dont' deserve you. You did the right thing leaving me for your wife, that's why I love you. But now " he still looked so sad "now you're back and she's here and she cant' win. We can't let her win. We have to stay together if you want, and love eachother fully because we want it. We'll face whatever is coming towards us together. I love you, Robin. Please."

He couldn't believe his ears. She was absolving him of his sins. She will to have to take care of his mistakes for the rest of her life. THe little boy or girl won't have any fault in this, will be innocent. Just like her. And she didn't deserve the reminder of who he is. A dirty man.

"Regina, I betrayed you. How can you...? I can not touch you"

"Robin... please, listen to me. You don't have any fault. I don't give you any fault. I want you. I want you in my life, in Henry's life because you're a role model. You're an honest man, a true man. Someone you can always rely on and that's what Henry and I need. I need you." SHe said passionately. He didn't say anything to she took a step and then another and she was circling his waist with her arms, tucking her head under his chin waiting for him to place his own arms around her. After a couple of minutes here they were. Safe and warm around her body, clinging like his life depended on it while he whispered "sorry" and "forgive me" and "I love you" and "I don't deserve you" in her ear.

"Maybe... maybe not" she said "but I still want you and I will for the rest of my life. No pressure now. I will give you all the time in the world, we don't have to jump in the bed right now" He loved that she could joke on this. "But promise me to talk to me, confide in me for everything. Talk to me Robin. Please."

He was blessed. That's the only thing registered in his mind. After everything he put her through she wanted to be with him. "I don't know how to shake this feeling, how I can feel clean again next to you, my love"

Regina thought fot a moment before saying "How about a shower? Together?"


	2. Chapter 2

"How about a shower? Together?" She proposed.

Robin began to shake his head even before she had finished her question. "No...no, Regina. I can't be near you... not that way..." he couldn't look at her in the eyes and that hurted her even more.

"Robin, stop it." she said angrily. He snapped his head up "well, that worked" she said with a soft smile. "Stop thinking. Just feel, ok?" she took his hand and placed it on her face. "Let's just feel. I don't expect to jump in a bed with you tonight, I just want to feel near you... I miss you" she said with a broken voice.

Tears fell from Robin's eyes. He missed her as well, as the air he breathed. He missed that easy connection, he missed those intimate kisses, he missed everything about herm but he didn't feel worth of her anymore. He had wished a different future for them. One where they could start a family together, with those two beautiful boys upstais of course, but with a little girl with her eyes and her smile. Now he was burdened with a child with her sister who posed as his dead wife out of revenge. She poisoned him, she dirtied their relationship. But he made a promise to himself in the Enchanted Forest: whenever he saw her wandering through the corridors of the castle, always alone and looking sad, he promised to do everything he could to make her smile, if not happy. So he agreed to the shower.

Regina beamed, eyes full of tears, and, never letting go of his hand, she led him upstairs. She locked the door of their bathroom and turned to him. She started to unbotton her shirt looking in his eyes and he mantained the eye contact, never breaking it to look elsewhere. Not when he heard the soft swish of her shirt on the floor, not when he heard the sound of her trouser's zip. He knew she was naked then and he didn't move a muscle. He hadn't removed his clothes, he just stood there.

Regina approached him, standing on her toes she gave him a kiss on his cheek and whispered in his ear "Don't make me be the only one with no clothes on." Then she moved to the shower, adjusting the right temperature and stepping inside.

Robin remained where he was, still processing all the emotions she stirred up in him. The trust she poned in him, after everything he put her through. He was so lucky to have her, to have her help and her love. That spurred him on, the eternal gratitude for just being her. He quickly disposed of his t-shirt and his trousers, then he took off his boxers and joined her under the warm spray. He still didn't dare to look at her body. He waited on her, he trusted her to make the right choise, the right move whenever she decided.

She had her back to him, enjoying the warm water on her body when she felt the curtain move behind her. She looked at him on her shoulder and smiled. God, wasn't he attractive like that. She knew she had to took the matter in her own hands (she smiled at the double meaning in her head), but she was used to it. She had manipulated many men in her past but this was different. This was her Robin, her brave true love who was wounded and was selfdoubting himself and their love and she couldn't allow it. She turned to him and placed her arms on his shoulders. When he didn't move she took his hands and placed them on her hips. He closed his eyes at the contact, the smooth skin was warm under his fingers.

"Look at me, I want you to know who you're with." She said and he obeyed. He opened his blue eyes and she could see the hurt in them so she rephrased it. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean like that. I mean, I want you to know that I am here. I am where I want to be, not out of a prophecy or the pixie dust but because I care about you. Deeply." She stuttered on the words, she couldn't say it yet. It wasn't the right moment but, for the firts time since Daniel, she thought she was finally ready.

He took his right hand from his safe place on her hip and played with the end of her hair. "You are here" he repeated in a whisper. His eyes shone, his hand trembled while he looked in her eyes and saw the love. She was lowering her barriers for his sake, helping him healing from those months in New York.

Regina smiled at him. "Let me help you" she said, looking around for his sponge before pouring a generous dollop of his (and her) favourite soap. It smelt of pine and forest and it reminded of him during their time apart. She moved her eyes to his chest and gasped "Robin?!". His perfect muscled chest was red and it seemed scratched. "Robin?...What is this?" she asked with a low voice tracing the pattern of one of the many signs marking his pectorals.

He looked like he couldn't breath. He gasped for air and for a way to explain this to her. He felt her fingers moving up and down the scars and tears pooled again in his eyes. "I... I had to... clean her from me. I coudn't stand the thought of being touched from her" he confessed.

Regina was on the verge of tears herself "My God, what has she done to you..." But she knew that she could not make this stop her, she began to soap his chest with accuracy, tracing the outlines of his muscle with the other hand to make more suds. She followed her movements with her eyes while Robin was enchanted by her expressive eyes. She began to descend on his body when he stopped her "Regina" he said.

"Robin" she playfully imitated him.

"Milady... you... you don't have to..." he felt like a teenboy in front of his first girl. He huffed at himself.

"I'm just cleaning you" She said intently, she waited for him to catch her meaning but, just to be sure, she explained herself anyway. "Water is symbol of purification, it cleans away the dirt, will it be physical or otherwise. _**I**_ 'm cleaning you. I'm forgiving you."

Robin crumbled then, he was overwhelmed by her words, her love. He crushed her naked body to his, not caring about anything else but her closeness. She breathed in relief when she felt him and the desperation he clinged to her. God, she missed this man. She hugged him with the same intensity while he said over and over "I am sorry... I am deeply sorry, Milady..."

She shushed him, like a baby, she scratched her nails on his scalp soothing him, the other hand caressed his back while sobs took control of his entire body. "Let it go, let it all go" she said, shedding tears of her own. "I'm here"

He shall have sensed her tears as well because his arms tensed around her, he would have never let her go. When he felt more in control of his emotion he looked in her eyes, smiling slighly. "Let me wash you." He said and she took note of the fact that he used a different verb from hers. He still thought that she was good and didn't need any cleaning from her past actions, he thought she redimed herself more that enough. She smiled at him and passed her sponge.

He took care of her body with love and devotion, not a hint of lust in movements, he put extra attention to touch her with his bare hands as little as possible and Regina didn't really know what to think.

Robin finally had soaped all of her so she took the shower head and proceeded to rinse them. He still was distant but his hand were at her waist clenching and unclenching, unsure of what to do. She then took her chances, she placed the shower head on its holder and got closer to him. She standed on her toes and approached their lips slowly, giving him the time to distance if he really wanted. He didn't move and their lips finally came in contact. She kissed him lightly not wanting to scare or startle him, but soon she couldn't resist to bit his lower lip just like he did when he enjoyed pissing her off in the Enchanted Forest. He moaned in the kiss and brought their foreheads together. He breathed deeply trying to calm himself but that was not what Regina wanted so she attacked his lips again, teasing them with her tongue until he couldn't do nothing but open them and give her access to his mouth.

They kissed for minutes, Robin slightly relaxing each passing moment until Regina started to draw lines on his torso lower and lower. He took her hand in his and stopped the kiss "Regina... you...we must stop. I can't"

Regina smirked at him, looking down "It seems to me that you can" she tried to lighten him did not expect him to back away from her, a frown deepening his wrinkles on the forehead and anger in his eyes.

"That is the problem! I cannot control myself! I am just an animal!" He almost shouted before remembering the two boys sleeping next door.

Regina didn't know what to do to make him understand "Robin, you thought she was your wife. I understand that you had to make it work with her, we decided it together. It doesn't mean I'm not hurt by your actions but now that we know the truth, we can't let her win. She wanted to keep you away from me and she's doing it even now. " She looked at him as he worked those words in his head, she gave him another minute before continuing "My mother always said to me that love is a weakness and I believed her, hell you know now what I have done to myself. But I know now that's not true. You have made me stronger, our love made me stronger."

"My love" he said brokenly. Tears runned freely on Regina's cheek.

"I am here and I intend to be next to you every step of the way if you want me to. We don't have to be alone anymore." She said. He nodded, seemed convinced and brought their lips together in a chaste but meaningfull kiss.

It escalated quickly, having missed each other for so long, hands roaming on eachother's body, rediscovering the places that made the other moan and gasp in pleasure. After a few minutes Robin moved away, Regina was ready to fight whatever he might throw her way but he simply smiled "Let's go to bed".

She turned off the water and wrapped herself in a bath towel while Robin was doing the same. He took her hand guiding her in the bedroom, he turned then and looked at her for a long moment. Regina tilted her head curiously waiting for him. "I love you. I want you to know it and I do not expect you say it back now. Maybe I shoud not say it as well, I have not showed you recently with... all that. But you must know that, regardless of everything, my heart is still yours, Regina Mills. It is your to keep, forever."

She smiled a happy smile and kissed him with all she have. She was relieved that he didn't expect anything. She needed time to heal herself, to adjust to these new changes that were about to come in their life. She needed time to smooth things over with the man she cared deeply, day after day.

Robin was still hesitant in their kiss, so Regina's tongue teased his lower lip and after a few seconds he granted the access to his mouth. Their kissed lasted for what seemed forever before she pushed him on the bed, straddling him. He took a breath of air before asking "My love, we do not have to..."

"But I want to" she said pouting adorably.

He couldn't help but laugh, he really laughed for the first time since leaving this town and she looked in amazement how his whole face lighted up, his eyes crinkling at the sides, his white teeth lightly biting his lower lip. She found herself smiling fondly at his mirth before lowering again and kissing his smile.

Regina took her bath towel and discared it carelessy on the floor still kissing him and then removed his as well. Finally here they were. She continued her ministration while her right hand started tracing intricate drawings on his chest, mapping it again in her head, memorizing each scar all over again. He left his hands on her back, tracing up and down the muscles never asking for more, simply taking confort from her skin. Her hand went down still and his breath sped up. She finally arrived to his hipbone and, looking in his blue eyes, she took him in her hand. He closed his eyelids for a moment but opened them right away remembering her words in the shower "I want you to know that I am here", she said. He wanted to ensure her presence, reassuring both of them that they were together against everyone and everything. Their love was strong.

She stroked him to full hardness and she positioned herself above him before he stopped her again "What now?" she asked anxious.

He smirked at her eagerness "Wait, I want to... Are you ready? I want to..."

"No," she interrupted him "This is about you" she smiled. He looked at her for a moment before taking her face in his hands and kissing her. She sinked on him and they both moaned at the intimate connection. They stood still, barely breathing: each of them savouring the moment, their hearts beating at the same time.

Regina felt him pulsing inside of her and started moving slightly, still adjusting to him. Robin moaned at her pace but never diverted the gaze from hers. She took one of his hand and placed it on her breast "Touch me, love" she said squeezing himand he jerked on the bed both at the sensation and at the nickname. She smirked, looking quite proud of herself. He took her lead and softly played with her breast, fully encased in his hand. Her nipple responded to his ministration right away and he lost it. He readjusted himself, placing his back on the headboard of the bed with her still seated on his lap. He placed a single kiss on the other nipple intending of stopping there but she sucked up a breath, content and he couldn't stop there. He kissed her breast, lapping at the hardened peak while his hand played with the other one.  
Regina felt a tightening in her core, she increased her pace moving up and down of his shaft spurring him on. She placed her cheek on his head while playing with he short hair on his neck and concentrated just on him, on the beating of their syncronized heart, on the feeling of him inside of her, on him being there, being hers. She felt the tears on her chest and looked down. Looking in his eyes she could almost see that he was thinking the same. Maybe that meant being soulmates, feeling one another thought and emotions. "Use mine for the both of us" he wispered on her lips just like he said in Granny's hallway. That was it, the confirmation. He was _**feeling**_ her. It was so earthshaking they climaxed together. He emptied himself inside of her and she welcomed it, milking him and prolonging their pleasure as much as possible. They didn't move, they hugged never breaking the phisical connection. Robin clunged to her like a lifeline and she managed to get even closer to his body.

He kissed her chest where her heart was . "Thank you, my love".


End file.
